Austin takes a look at GROWN UPS 2… and it isn’t pretty!

grown_ups_two_ver2

You know…. it’s way too easy to shit on this movie!  I don’t think any critic in their right mind thought that this was going to be any good.  I almost didn’t even go to my press screening cause I thought it would be pointless.  Turns out I was right.  I mean, I didn’t even like the first one.  It made my worst list of 2010.  But since it made tons of money, Sandler and company decided that what audiences really deserved was a follow-up.  Well, we’re definitely getting what we deserve.

There is absolutely no plot to this movie.  I mean, I’ve seen movies where I didn’t see a point, but apart from some art house films, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie (especially one released by a major studio in the middle of the summer movie season) that has no structure whatsoever.  Here’s the movie:  Sandler wakes up to a computer-generated deer pissing on him.  Then the deer runs around the house pissing on everything and everyone.  Then Sandler meets up with his buddies Kevin James, Chris Rock and David Spade.  They go to KMART and fuck around in there a bit while they make fun of Tim Meadows.  Then they go to a beach and cliff jump naked because some frat boys made them.  Then they all go to Sandler’s daughter’s dance recital and drool over the (fake) busty instructor.  Then out of the blue, Sandler’s wife decides to throw an 80′s party at their place that has all the annoying characters come together and fight some frat boys.  THE END!  Not joking.  That’s the whole fucking movie.

Like I said, it would be too easy to swear my ass off and insult everyone involved with this project.  But I’m not going to let these guys off that easy.  I will say this about the movie though.  It’s horrible.  Even worse than the first one and that was no easy feat.  It’s painfully unfunny.  In fact, it’s so bad that I just CAN’T believe that everyone thought that they were actually making a good movie.  It’s like Sandler and his crew made a bet with each other to make the worst film possible.  They had to TRY to make this movie THAT bad.  Now, I haven’t liked most of Sandler’s recent films (with the exception of BEDTIME STORIES), but I believed that at least they were trying to make a good movie.  But with GROWN UPS 2, there’s no way they could have thought they were making a quality film.  NO WAY.  Sandler, James, and Rock do have some talent.  In fact, I bet they would’ve made a funnier film if they didn’t even try. But every line, every joke here is excruciating bad.  I am of the belief that if a take was too good, they would do another take and TRY to be worse.  That’s the only explanation I can come up with that makes even a little bit of sense.

Now, I would like to take this opportunity to address Adam Sandler personally:

“Dear Mr. Sandler,

           What the fuck happened?!?  I loved you in BILLY MADISON and HAPPY GILMORE.  Those were inspired comedies with lots of energy.  I loved how completely random and crazy those were.  That’s why I began to admire you.  You’re type of comedy was so much fun!  I even liked THE WEDDING SINGER, BIG DADDY and even ANGER MANAGEMENT.  And I think BEDTIME STORIES was your best film in a long time.  I also really admired when you tried something out of your comfort zone like SPANGLISH, REIGN OVER ME, FUNNY PEOPLE and especially PUNCHDRUNK LOVE.  But lately… I don’t know man.  Somewhere down the line it seemed like you stopped caring.  At first, your comedies just seemed uninspired like THE WATERBOY, MR. DEEDS, and CLICK.  But then you made some real shit like I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY, GROWN UPS and JACK & JILL.  Those films feature so little of the Adam Sandler that put you on the map.  You’ve changed buddy, and not for the best.  And now, with your latest movie, you have made your worst film to date.  There is really no redeeming quality about the movie.  I guess the only nice thing I can say about it is Ada-Nicole Sanger as Kevin James’ daughter.  She had a likable personality and found her pretty engaging.  It was nice to see a girl who wasn’t anorexic.  I’m also glad that you guys didn’t poke fun at her weight during the flick.  You just presented her as is, like it’s really okay to look like that (which it is).  Too bad you couldn’t make her the main star, because she was way funnier than any of you guys.  I really don’t want to hate you Mr. Sandler.  I wanna like your movie.  But in order to do so, you actually have to start caring again and make a good movie.  That’s your goal next time, Adam.  Your challenge.  A wager, perhaps.  I challenge you to make an actual good movie.  I know you have it in you.  You can do it.  I believe in you! 

Sincerely, Austin Charles Kennedy”

Whew!  That was painful to write.  I really did used to like the fella.

So why do people still go to Adam Sandler movies?  Some people actually like them too.  In fact, a lot of people still like him.  I was talking about this with my 9-year-old daughter after the screening (she awarded the movie her first zero star rating ever.  So proud), and she brought up the point that people like stupid movies.  And I agreed with her.  But why do people like stupid movies?  I think it’s because that we as a society have gotten so used to lousy shit.  Whether it’s on TV or at the theater.  People get the same awful shit shoved down their faces every day that they have forgotten what a really quality comedy is.  The screening I went to was pretty sad.  There were several people laughing throughout the entire film.  People were even applauding when the deer was pissing everywhere.  Is that what we have become as moviegoers?  It kind of makes me want to cry.  And according to the screening I went to, the reason I didn’t like the movie was because I wasn’t Asian, Mexican or lived in a trailer park.  That could be the problem.  Now, I’m not a racist or prejudice.  I’m actually serious.  I didn’t see one white person laugh at all.  That’s just a fact.

So yeah.  This movie was a big piece of shit.  A movie that I can’t believe even got made.  It’s plotless, pointless, soulless, but worse than all of those  things…. it’s just NOT FUNNY!!!  Please don’t give Happy Madison productions any money for their (lack of) effort here.   ½ (out of ★★★★)

- Rated PG-13 for crude and suggestive content, language and some male rear nudity.

- Running time: 1hr 40min.

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Categories: Austin Kennedy, Reviews

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1 reply

  1. Your analysis of this pointless film was on point, but your use of profane adjectives is about as welcome and effective as it was in the film. I must be getting old…;)

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